A Guide to Managing Grief

When a loved one dies, there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. PIH Health Internal Medicine Physician, Richard Jordan says, “The grieving process is unique to each person, and it may change for you over time”. Because every person experiences grief in their own way, it’s hard to follow a step-by-step process or a specific timeline to get through it. But there are some tips that may help you better manage the feelings and emotions you are experiencing.

Here are tips to help you get through your personal grieving process:

• Be patient with yourself. You must get through grief in your own time and your own way. Don’t compare your grief with someone else’s. Also don’t be hard on yourself for not doing better or feeling like yourself faster.
• Be patient with others. Many people want to do or say something to help you get through the grieving process. Be understanding of well-intentioned efforts, but respectfully decline advice or offers of help if they don’t work for you.
• Don’t ignore your grief. Some people may encourage you to keep busy or to push through your pain. To fully heal, it’s important to face all your emotions and to actively deal with them.
• Expect the unexpected. You may experience unexpected emotions or feel differently than you would have predicted. That’s okay. Grief can trigger many unusual feelings. Take the emotions as they come and try your best to work through them.
• Keep structure in your day. Even if you don’t feel like doing much, it’s helpful to maintain a regular routine. Set a regular sleep schedule, get dressed every day, eat meals at regular times even if you’re not too hungry and make a list of any activities you need to get done. It is the small things that matter the most
• Take care of your physical health. You may not be thinking of what you need to do to keep yourself healthy—you may not sleep well, eat unhealthy foods, skip exercising or drink too much alcohol. Although these may be natural reactions to grief, over time you may find that your mental health improves if you take care of your body.
• Don’t make major decisions. Take time to process your grief before making any major life decisions. What you think you want to do now may be very different once you cope and get more used to your new reality.
• Get support. “It’s normal to feel lonely but it’s helpful to not let yourself be too isolated.” Dr. Jordan says. “Find people or groups who are comfortable with grief or who understand what you are going through”. This may help you better express your emotions and help you feel that you are not alone.