How to Talk to Someone with Dementia or Alzheimer’s
Here are 5 ways to communicate with someone who has dementia or Alzheimer’s.
People with Alzheimer’s and dementia live with brain damage that affects their thought processes, memory, and behavior. While their behavior can be upsetting and frustrating for you, it is even worse for them.
The key to more positive interactions with Alzheimer’s patients, according to Dane Copeland MD, neurologist at PIH Health, is to understand a person’s abilities and limitations and then adjust your words, actions, and expectations accordingly. “When a person develops Alzheimer’s or dementia, it’s important for family and caregivers to be flexible. The patient’s brain can no longer adapt in the same way, so we must adjust how we communicate and connect with them,” Dr. Copeland explains.
Here are 5 tips for positively engaging with Alzheimer’s and dementia patients:
- Affirm their reality – When a patient’s version of what is going on is not real, trying to force reality often causes confusion or embarrassment. Instead of correcting the person’s take on reality, repeat his or her words back to affirm that you have heard what is being said even if you do not agree. Your best response is: “It sounds like…” or “What I hear you saying is…”
- Acknowledge emotion – If a person is angry, upset, or irritated about something, show that you think the emotion is legitimate. Your words can make a difference by acknowledging that you understand how the patient feels. Your best response is: “I am sorry you feel that way…” or “That should not have happened…”
- Do not be specific in your ask – Frustration results when a patient cannot find the words to answer your question. Guide the conversation by saying: “Tell me more about it…” or “What are you thinking?”
- Adjust your tone – Deepen your voice, use a questioning tone, and add emotion or pauses to your dialogue to grab the person’s attention. Repeating yourself and getting louder only increases agitation.
- Promote engagement – Focus on discussion topics and activities that the person still cares about. When people feel accepted and understood, they are less anxious.
Being flexible in how you respond to a person’s thoughts, words, and actions can improve interactions with those you love and will likely make your visit a happier one.
“At the end of the day, what matters most is not correcting every detail, but making the person feel safe, valued, and heard,” says Dr. Copeland. “Those moments of connection, no matter how small, can have a lasting positive impact.”
